He was an angel the first week of school. He would enter the classroom each day and go right to the table for story time. He needed very little redirection to stay on task. (We worked really hard over the summer to catch him up on some things he lost during his first two years of illnesses.) I guess you could say it was the "Honeymoon Phase." He got "happy faces" on his progress sheet each day.
Then, almost overnight, he started hitting, throwing, kicking - pretty much anything he had his hands on got punched or kicked before he was done with it. Even our lab, Annie, became a victim of his aggression. I was not having it. This child was never aggressive. Never a biter. He was always the one bitten. Never a hitter or a fighter in any way. We always described him as passive (and loved that he was gentle, but always hoped he would learn to defend himself when necessary). Suddenly, I did not recognize my son.
I knew there were factors that could have been contributing to the change, but I didn't want to make excuses:
1. We went on vacation with my mom to the land of magic (Disney World) during his second week of school...where every little wish of his came true. Then we returned to very sudden reality...that is, home and back to school.
2. He came back from Disney World with an ear infection and a very asthmatic cough.
3. He was now back on steroid breathing treatments (which usually requires a grace period of several days to get over the "wild child" phase).
4. Gagi (my mom) went back to Kentucky, thus stripping him of ridiculous spoiledness (I know, it's not even a word!).
After all of this had time to wear off, we still had our aggressive child.
I am kicking myself now for not thinking of it sooner. Two nights ago, it hit me that maybe, just maybe, he is demonstrating behavior that he has been shown. I said to William, "It's almost like someone has been hitting him."
I turn to Liam and ask, "Liam, who hits you?"
Liam: "C_____."
Me: "C_____ at school?"
Liam: "C_____ hits me on the head...it hurts."
Oh.no.she.didn't.
William looks at me. I look at William.
It's on.
(Delete dramatic energy.)
No, really, it all made sense now. (Why did it take me so long to ask that very simple question? Insert Mom Guilt.)
We talked to all the right people at his school, and they are addressing the issue. We are all HOPING to correct this behavior quickly. Per his speech therapist, we are going all out with positive reinforcement of all the things he does right, instead of constantly saying, "No, we don't hit." I would be loaded right now if I had been paid for every time I said that in the last 14 days.
And...I would be a rich woman today for all the times I have congratulated him for every little thing he has done right. (But it puts BOTH of us in a very good mood!) Lots of hugging, stickers, rewards...and the improvement has already begun.
It was suggested that we create a box where we put all of the objects/toys he uses to hit and let him know that that's not what the toy is for.
As of 2:05 p.m., the box is empty :)
Liam's "Happy Face"
No comments:
Post a Comment