Pick one and do it!

I couldn't focus on just one thing today, so I thought about how many wonderful changes I could make in my life and decided to jot them down to share. Just pick one...and do it!


*Admit you were wrong to your parents (or your children)

*Smile as you pass people on the street

*Write a letter of apology

*Tell people you are proud of them

*Work for peace in the world - and in your family

*Lose perfection

*Offer to babysit and don't charge

*Don't hit your snooze button

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Give anyway.

You hear it said all the time in one form or another: Give because you WANT to give, not because you expect anything in return. (And if you do expect anything, even silently, you must be the greediest person ever.)

Of course, we all go into the process of giving with that great feeling in our heart, but the truth is, sometimes people are incredibly ungrateful, and the truth is, it's hurtful. Sometimes, it does leave a bad taste in your mouth. And it can certainly build a wall around you that, whether you want it to or not, can prevent you from wanting to continue to give your time, your patience, your care.

But I really do need to stop having high (although what I consider reasonable) expectations of someone's gratitude because, chances are, I'm rarely going to be able to predict their response. It's nearly impossible. And I've learned here lately that sometimes my biggest problem is that I give to the wrong causes or to the wrong people. I know that sounds terrible, but it's not really as bad as it sounds. What I mean is, I am often investing my "giving energy" into things or people whom I really shouldn't be investing in at all, not because they aren't worthy but because there's probably someone else or something else that could appreciate what I have to offer more than the direction I'm sending it.

Investing in toxic relationships, one-sided relationships where, naturally, one person is taking, taking, taking and the other person is constantly giving, isn't good for anyone. But we all fall into it in one way or another. So, what I hope to have done during these weeks of reflection, is to have learned which people and which causes I need to be investing my service. The time that isn't well spent is time I'm taking away from God. When I am too concerned with reaching out to someone or something (or everyone and everything!) that is unwilling or unable to accept what I am extending, I inevitably neglect my husband, my son, and my close family and friends - usually in an emotional way.

So, as I move through this and try to figure things out, I will keep Mother Teresa's quote in mind.

People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

I got my radio on...

...except during the morning hours of the Lenten season.



It's a distraction in many ways, but it's mostly a distraction from two things: my time with Liam, and my time with God.

My first trip out in the morning is a 10-12 minute drive to take Liam to his 3K class. Instead of him sitting there in a sleepy daze and me flipping through the channels, I take that time to talk to him about his day ahead (or whatever silly story he wants to share with me at that time). We talk about the theme at school that week, we talk about the friends he will play with, and what we will do when I pick him up.

From there, I still leave the radio off until I get to my next stop. I take that next 10-15 minutes for prayer. Yes, with my eyes open!!! I just talk to God. I have no excuse at the end of the day because I DO have the time, I just don't make it. So, I thank God for my many blessings, including my safe drive to and from Liam's school, my family and friends, our health, our jobs, our ability to be creative and still make ends meet most of the time!, and I also talk about the things I could do better and how I long for the strength to do those things. It's 10-15 minutes, and it's some of the most peaceful time of my day for so many reasons.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Don't grumble, don't groan.

My husband's family has lost a dear family member this week. I don't have a lot of words today, except that my personal challenge for today, and the days ahead, is to remember how blessed we are here on Earth with the time we have.

As part of Lent, try doing this:

Don't grumble. Don't groan. Don't moan. Don't be negative.

It's hard, you say? I know it is. But what a family goes through with the loss of a loved one is so much harder, so keep that in mind as you go about your day.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

But I don't LIKE fish...

Well, the good news is, you don't have to eat just FISH on Fridays during Lent. Yes, the Catholic churches typically do a Fish Fry as a means of fellowship and remembrance of the sacrifice we are making on Fridays, but it's just that - a means of sacrifice. We are honoring the Passion of Jesus on Good Friday.

I found a really neat explanation of fasting and abstinence: The purpose of a fast is to find out who is in control, you or your belly, and to win that control if necessary. It's also a way of using your appetite as a spiritual snooze alarm that moves you to pray.

Find a form of fasting that is appropriate for you, given your age and health. Some fast on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays. Some give up sweets throughout Lent. Some fast on one or more days per week from breakfast all the way to dinner, spending lunch hour in prayer or at noon Mass. Some cut out all snacks between meals.

The money saved from not buying various things could be given to a ministry serving the physically or spiritually poor. Or, take the time that you would normally be sitting down for a big meal and spend it with someone less fortunate or someone who is ill. There are so many ways to experience the "fasting" part of Lent. It doesn't have to turn into an issue of eating fish on Fridays. Make it a time of reflection on what's really important.

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
—Matthew 6:16-18

Let There Be Peace.

We pray for this every Sunday at church. We pray for peace on Earth. We pray for peace among our family members and friends. We pray for peace in our hearts.

What I need to do, and what I encourage anyone else to do, is BE the peace. It's easy to say, "Let there be peace," but sometimes YOU have to be the peace. Literally.

It can be difficult. You may have to tear down a solid wall and (uncomfortably) say, "I'm sorry." Carefully examine the conflict you are in and ask, "Could I have handled that ANY differently to have prevented hurt to another person?" The answer may truthfully be, "No." But, if this a person you love and, despite right or wrong, you may know they need an extended hand of peace.

You may need to say, "I forgive you." That can be REALLY hard when you feel like you've done nothing wrong, or when you feel like the other person is still being hurtful and rude. I mean, in how many cases do we actually brave up and say, "I forgive you," when the person is still ACTIVELY hurting you? Why would you feel the need to do that when they seem to be proud of hurting you? Or, especially when they are making it pretty obvious that they don't care about you or what's important to you. It's tough, but sometimes, it's the only way to find peace in your heart.

You just never know what opening that door will do for a relationship. Maybe you stood your ground and they didn't like it. Guess what? If you can get beyond this time of hurt, you can probably be assured they will know what the boundaries are in the future and won't cross them. This, of course, leads to a more honest relationship.

If you have children, it is even more important to have peace within. I've learned this countless times! We may think our kids don't pick up on our bitterness or hurt, but they do. They really can sense when Mommy or Daddy isn't truly happy. They see it in our eyes, hear it in our voices. I have to keep reminding myself of this - Liam should not pay the price for turmoil that he is not responsible for.

I heard someone say today on a talk show, "You can't find peace until you find all the pieces." Wow! Such a concept to consider. Just get it all out on the table (even if it's just to yourself) and be done with it.

"Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."

Careless Talk

This one is tough.

Every time you're about to open your mouth, stop and think about what you're planning to say. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it loving?


I am certainly guilty of careless talk (though, as of lately, I've tried very hard to be more aware of it). It's all too easy to find yourself in a rut. Before you know it, one particular issue consumes you, and you can't even have a conversation without talking about it. Chances are, the issue is a source of pain for you. Try to be honest with yourself about WHY you're having those feelings...do what you need to do to resolve it (this may involve a huge ounce of forgiveness on your part, or it could involve a much needed heart-to-heart, or you just might need old-fashioned prayer)...and then vow to not talk about it again.

You may even have a friend who is constantly "whining" and you end up avoiding conversations with that person. Try something new: instead of avoiding them, find something positive to bring to the conversation...doing so makes it difficult for them to continue talking about something dreary. Do this every time. (It may take several attempts before they realize that you aren't going to participate in their negativity.) You will be a better friend for it.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

40 Ways...continued

So, today was an incredibly exhausting day emotionally. All we want for our little boy is health and happiness, I've said that many times. As we jump over one hurdle, we find another one waiting for us. But Liam is counting on us to be his rock, and just like Jesus is our Rock, we are going to strive to be that for him.

In a late night conversation with my cousin, I shared with her this almost painstaking love that I have for our son. She has the same love for her children and she assured me that she does understand. And then she talked to me about faith and hope...and how easy it would be to give up if you didn't have either. Each thing Liam endures health-wise makes me love and cherish him even more. I sit here with tears just filling my eyes...it's almost more than I can take. What an honor and a blessing to be a mother.

Keeping in mind the love for children, a second way to get the most out of Lent:

Pray for an end to abortion. Pray for women contemplating abortion.

The Season of Lent - 40 Ways

Ash Wednesday is this week, and I've had it on my mind for some time now. This is, after all, a time of soul-searching and repentance. A time to sort "take stock," if you will. And this year especially, I need to take stock.

What I want to share during this season is a compilation of 40 ways to "experience" Lent. I know many of us decide to give up certain things during this time (sweets, soft drinks, foul language), but I challenge you to DO something instead of simply giving up something. Making a conscious choice to add something meaningful (prayer time, visit an elderly person) into your routine can also come as a sacrifice if it means choosing a quality activity over staring at the TV for 2 hours or gossiping on the phone. Besides, I have a little trouble with, "I'm going to give us cursing," because as one our priests has said: "Thank you for sparing me with that for the next 40 days only to pick it back up when Lent is over." That doesn't make a lot of good sense. I would love to be able to incorporate better habits into my routine that would continue long after the Lenten season is over.

So, in an effort to get us in the Lenten frame of mind before it begins on Wednesday, here is the first of the 40 ways to get the most out of Lent. (I chose this one because it is surely going to be a challenge for me but definitely something I need to try.)

Pray for your enemies. In fact, think of the person who has most hurt you or who most annoys you and spend several minutes each day thanking God for that person and asking God to bless him or her.