Give anyway.

You hear it said all the time in one form or another: Give because you WANT to give, not because you expect anything in return. (And if you do expect anything, even silently, you must be the greediest person ever.)

Of course, we all go into the process of giving with that great feeling in our heart, but the truth is, sometimes people are incredibly ungrateful, and the truth is, it's hurtful. Sometimes, it does leave a bad taste in your mouth. And it can certainly build a wall around you that, whether you want it to or not, can prevent you from wanting to continue to give your time, your patience, your care.

But I really do need to stop having high (although what I consider reasonable) expectations of someone's gratitude because, chances are, I'm rarely going to be able to predict their response. It's nearly impossible. And I've learned here lately that sometimes my biggest problem is that I give to the wrong causes or to the wrong people. I know that sounds terrible, but it's not really as bad as it sounds. What I mean is, I am often investing my "giving energy" into things or people whom I really shouldn't be investing in at all, not because they aren't worthy but because there's probably someone else or something else that could appreciate what I have to offer more than the direction I'm sending it.

Investing in toxic relationships, one-sided relationships where, naturally, one person is taking, taking, taking and the other person is constantly giving, isn't good for anyone. But we all fall into it in one way or another. So, what I hope to have done during these weeks of reflection, is to have learned which people and which causes I need to be investing my service. The time that isn't well spent is time I'm taking away from God. When I am too concerned with reaching out to someone or something (or everyone and everything!) that is unwilling or unable to accept what I am extending, I inevitably neglect my husband, my son, and my close family and friends - usually in an emotional way.

So, as I move through this and try to figure things out, I will keep Mother Teresa's quote in mind.

People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa