Our son, Liam, has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is 4 years old and is the most loving child. We are extremely proud to be his parents.
Liam is extremely bright with above average intelligence, but it is difficult for him to hold a pencil to write his name. He is cheerful and content one minute and easily upset the next. If we had not pushed for further testing and evaluation, Liam may have been viewed as other children whose parents just think their child is misbehaved, doesn't listen, and doesn't talk or communicate. He could easily have been labeled a bad child, when the truth is, he has Asperger's Syndrome. Many of his "meltdowns" he simply cannot help. He is not rude, shy, weird, or bad. He is an "Aspie" :)
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder on the higher end of the Autism spectrum. Individuals with Asperger's have normal to high intelligence, and can function in day to day life. But socially, they struggle. They often do not know how to approach other children and begin conversation. They may stand back and appear awkward, or they may shut down and even cry. Or, they may act in a way that seems inappropriate for their age. Attending a birthday party might be a a stressful occasion for Liam and exhausting for us, as he usually doesn't understand the transitions between games, singing the birthday song, and opening presents. He doesn't always understand what he is supposed to do when he's there. Children with AS often play around other children and talk AT them instead of TO them. They sometimes will repeat words or phrases over and over. They tend to be loners and, in school, may be called "different." They usually have obsessions, sometimes with very odd subjects. At 18 months old, Liam became extremely obsessed with trains. But he also became very upset when the trains were moved out of order. But at the young age of 2, he knew the difference between a freight train and a diesel engine, and so on. His current obsession is dinosaurs. He quickly learns more about each dinosaur than most adults could ever learn. Next week it might be the solar system.
Because not many people know about Asperger's, it is often misdiagnosed with conditions like ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder, (manic-depressive) and sometimes even Epilepsy. People with AS have a strong sense of smell, taste, and sound. Liam can be in the living room and tell immediately when I open the peanut butter jar by the smell. He has a high sensitivity to sudden, loud noises - a toilet flushing, a semi truck passing, or a group of children singing causes him to cover his ears. They sometimes have what most would consider a "temper tantrum" over something that typically involved a change in routine. They are extremely reliant upon routine and pattern, so transitions are difficult. Children with AS often are slow at speaking, and struggle with fine motor skills. They are often very difficult to potty train, yet they excel in other areas. They have a hard time understanding slang or sarcasm, as they take everything as its literal meaning. Some have difficulty expressing emotion or reading others' emotions or expressions. We have called Liam "quirky" for the last two years because it is difficult to put your finger on what it is about them that is different, but once you learn about it, you can detect these traits.
We were given a diagnosis this week, and the days following have been an emotional roller coaster. Relief, sadness, fear, anxiety, and then relief again. And then fear. We now know the measures to take to help him, but we know it's like starting all over again. We will have to try to prevent every little thing in his life from becoming an obsession (and what might be a normal interest in a child can very easily become an obsession with him overnight), we will have to intentionally change routines in order to teach him that sometimes things do change (because his emotions are not connected to his brain to help him cope with that), we will have to teach him how to socialize, he will literally have to learn how to read social cues, he will spend his life learning to imitate the correct way to respond to others because he was not born with the ability to do it naturally.
But...he is still Liam. He is still the loving, sweet, smart little boy that we love so much. He just happens to have Asperger's.
Liam is extremely bright with above average intelligence, but it is difficult for him to hold a pencil to write his name. He is cheerful and content one minute and easily upset the next. If we had not pushed for further testing and evaluation, Liam may have been viewed as other children whose parents just think their child is misbehaved, doesn't listen, and doesn't talk or communicate. He could easily have been labeled a bad child, when the truth is, he has Asperger's Syndrome. Many of his "meltdowns" he simply cannot help. He is not rude, shy, weird, or bad. He is an "Aspie" :)
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder on the higher end of the Autism spectrum. Individuals with Asperger's have normal to high intelligence, and can function in day to day life. But socially, they struggle. They often do not know how to approach other children and begin conversation. They may stand back and appear awkward, or they may shut down and even cry. Or, they may act in a way that seems inappropriate for their age. Attending a birthday party might be a a stressful occasion for Liam and exhausting for us, as he usually doesn't understand the transitions between games, singing the birthday song, and opening presents. He doesn't always understand what he is supposed to do when he's there. Children with AS often play around other children and talk AT them instead of TO them. They sometimes will repeat words or phrases over and over. They tend to be loners and, in school, may be called "different." They usually have obsessions, sometimes with very odd subjects. At 18 months old, Liam became extremely obsessed with trains. But he also became very upset when the trains were moved out of order. But at the young age of 2, he knew the difference between a freight train and a diesel engine, and so on. His current obsession is dinosaurs. He quickly learns more about each dinosaur than most adults could ever learn. Next week it might be the solar system.
Because not many people know about Asperger's, it is often misdiagnosed with conditions like ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder, (manic-depressive) and sometimes even Epilepsy. People with AS have a strong sense of smell, taste, and sound. Liam can be in the living room and tell immediately when I open the peanut butter jar by the smell. He has a high sensitivity to sudden, loud noises - a toilet flushing, a semi truck passing, or a group of children singing causes him to cover his ears. They sometimes have what most would consider a "temper tantrum" over something that typically involved a change in routine. They are extremely reliant upon routine and pattern, so transitions are difficult. Children with AS often are slow at speaking, and struggle with fine motor skills. They are often very difficult to potty train, yet they excel in other areas. They have a hard time understanding slang or sarcasm, as they take everything as its literal meaning. Some have difficulty expressing emotion or reading others' emotions or expressions. We have called Liam "quirky" for the last two years because it is difficult to put your finger on what it is about them that is different, but once you learn about it, you can detect these traits.
We were given a diagnosis this week, and the days following have been an emotional roller coaster. Relief, sadness, fear, anxiety, and then relief again. And then fear. We now know the measures to take to help him, but we know it's like starting all over again. We will have to try to prevent every little thing in his life from becoming an obsession (and what might be a normal interest in a child can very easily become an obsession with him overnight), we will have to intentionally change routines in order to teach him that sometimes things do change (because his emotions are not connected to his brain to help him cope with that), we will have to teach him how to socialize, he will literally have to learn how to read social cues, he will spend his life learning to imitate the correct way to respond to others because he was not born with the ability to do it naturally.
But...he is still Liam. He is still the loving, sweet, smart little boy that we love so much. He just happens to have Asperger's.
Hey Heather! I had not been reading your blog and just stopped by and read about Liam's diagnosis. While we aren't living with Asperger's, Drew has extreme Sensory Integration and we have experienced so many of the things you listed. It has changed how I view other children that seem to just have "bad behavior". Drew has to be taught - multiple times - appropriate behavior for every situation we encounter . He started Kindergarten a few weeks ago and it has been a transition for ALL of us.
ReplyDeleteSo many things we all take for granted and think nothing of, are huge obsticles for Drew - like school restrooms with automatic toilets (read: loud) and automatic hand dryers.
I will keep you in my prayers as we travel this new road. :)