Liam's Story

Thinking about that week leading up to Liam's hospitalization makes me sick to my stomach. But if it helps any other family for me to describe what happened, I have to do it. I would never want another parent to second guess their instincts. I wish now I had known to take him in even sooner, but we literally only had a week of symptoms. It was that fast. And anyone close to me could tell you that I was worried every single day of that week, knowing something wasn't right with him.

Liam was already sick with a cough and allergies. We had taken him to urgent care the week before. I distinctly recall the weird feeling I had when he was weighed and the scale said 37 pounds. Liam was always around 39-40. He was little, but I thought, maybe because he had been sick for a few days, he had lost some weight. The doctor put him on Amoxicillin and a steroid. Almost the next day, or the day after that, he began asking for "cold water" - "REALLY cold water, Mommy." With that excessive thirst came frequent urination. It was constant - he was wetting the bed every night, but he was on these two medications, so we just kept watching it. By the third or fourth day, I knew it wasn't normal. Then, before I could really figure out what to do next, he had an episode of vomiting on the way to a therapy appointment. I thought...okay...maybe the medication made him nauseated. Still, constant thirst and urination.

On Friday afternoon, I called the pediatrician and talked to a nurse. I explained everything that had transpired over the last week. Her response was that it didn't sound like an emergency and he could probably wait until Monday. I was not happy, but then for a moment, I DID wonder if I was losing it. But almost as soon as I hung up, I started to feel again like something wasn't right. When I picked Liam up from school that day, his teacher said, "He was so thirsty all day. You might want to check him for diabetes." My heart sank.

Diabetes? Could it really be?

I had been texting and talking to so many friends and family over the course of the week, and I even said at one point that I've been worried about diabetes. But we had so much other stuff going on with him that I didn't want to allow myself to bring something else to the table unless it really was a possibility.

That same evening, Liam would not swallow food and began vomiting. William just looked at me and said, "We're taking him." We called the on-call nurse, and she said get him to the emergency room immediately.

Hours later, lethargic and dehydrated, the ER doctor spent a lot of time talking to us, trying to figure out every piece of his medical history (and it is a long one). He prepared us - he said, he has all of the flags for diabetes, but it may not be. The hour we waited for bloodwork seemed like days. The longer we waited, the more I knew. I stared at my baby boy drifting in and out, dark circles under his eyes, so thin and weak.

The ER doctor walked in, cell phone in his hand, and said, "Take a guess at what his blood sugar was. Just take a guess. Pick a number." I was stunned at his question, but before I could answer, his phone rang. He answered and said, "Yes, I've got a barely 5 year old with a 940 blood sugar. Type 1 Diabetes. I need the whole team here."

I think my head just started to swirl immediately. I just stared at Liam, lying there. Before the doctor could even talk to us, the nurses ran in and started hooking him up to IVs and insulin. It was the scariest moment we've ever had with him. By far, the scariest.

The ER doctor took me out of the room and said, "You would have found him in a coma had you not brought him. He has Type 1 Diabetes. You saved his life." Words you never want to hear.

Our sweet boy - the one we have prayed and prayed for his whole life - has yet another battle to fight?

They've told us - you will feel fear, denial, shock, anger, pain. You will need counseling. We feel all of it, but mostly, we feel sad. Sad for him. I know that will pass, or maybe it never will. What we have to do now is focus on finger sticks and insulin injections and strict diet....all day...everyday...for the rest of his life.

I wonder when I'll ever be able to trust anyone to take care of him and to know the signs to look for when his blood sugar is dropping or going up. I wonder how I'll trust that the school will take care of him. I wonder how I'll trust MYSELF to know what to do each and every time something goes wrong.

We have to keep juice or cake icing or glucose tablets on hand all the time. We have to always have his meter and insulin and supplies with us everywhere we go. It's 4-5 insulin shots a day and 4-5 finger sticks a day. Diet is very specific and cannot be overlooked or ignored. Ever.

"No, no! Mommy don't hurt me! Don't stick me with that noodle!" is something I'll never get used to hearing. And I'll go hide in the bathroom and cry if I have to each and every time. Not just because I have to give him a shot but because I wish I could take his place and have this horrible disease instead of him.

We want our children to just be healthy. That's it. They don't have to be super stars at everything or at ANYthing. Just healthy. That's all I ever hoped for. So for right now, I'm going to allow myself to feel sad. Not for long, but for a while.

Liam is a brave soul. He truly is.

When someone ever asks me who my hero is, I will proudly say it is my son. The bravest human being I've ever known.

Liam was finally resting well...and he LOVED the red light on his finger :)

Well, there really aren't words to describe how happy he was to see Gagi. She got there in a flash!

We were blessed to be offered a room at the Ronald McDonald House. It was a beautiful home with a hotel-style room, an enormous kitchen with any food or drinks you can imagine, and a homemade meal every night. Just 2 blocks from the hospital. A blessing in a time of despair.

There has been an outpouring of love and prayers and support that William and I could have never imagined. The phone calls, the emails, the messages...we will never be able to thank you enough. We wouldn't even know where to start. All we can say is, thank you for seeing our precious boy the way we see him - a gift from God.

My cousin said to me, "You don't have time to have the nervous breakdown you deserve." That is the most adequate way to describe where I am emotionally at this time. Liam's health is at the forefront of everything we do and it will be forever.

Another cousin said, "One day you will get your reward."

When Liam gets his, that will be ours.