Top 11...revisited

I posted this entry last year and received an overwhelming number of emails asking me add to the list with THEIR top annoyances. This is, by no means, a gripe session. It's simply a way to explain some of the top manners/etiquette grievances that have been shared with me over the last year or so. As I mentioned in the original entry, I put some of these into my own words, and some of them, I took directly from the source. You never know how you might be treating people, or how you might come across. If anything good comes of this, I hope it's fresh perspective. Enjoy!


My friends from all over have shared with me some of the most annoying lack of manners (or etiquette) in public places, the workplace, in their homes, in their friends' homes...pretty much any location. You will most likely recognize some of these as your own that you have mentioned either on Facebook or in a conversation...but put into my own words.

I have taken them all into careful consideration and am bringing them to you in what, I believe, are probably THE Top 11 annoyances to which people really should pay close attention. After compiling the list, what was most alarming to me was how very "common sense" these items are. But isn't that sort of the theme of bad manners? We can be incredibly intelligent in ways that don't really amount to a hill of beans, but in very basic manners, we can seem like children.

Some are quite funny and some are pretty serious. Thanks for sharing!

1. If someone (you don't even know!) holds open a door for you, thank them. There are no exceptions to this rule. They could have just let it slam shut in your face, in which case I am sure you would have been raging under your breath about how rude they were.) Manners, people. Free at your local Thinking Cap.

2. Do not, under any circumstances, imply, suggest, or question whether or not a woman is carrying life inside her body. The reason you asked DOES NOT MATTER AND NEVER WILL. I don't care if her cute "babydoll" top looks maternity, or if "the way (she) is standing" makes her belly protrude, or even the fact that her water broke. Warning: If you do cross this forbidden line, you will be sorry if she is, in fact, not pregnant.

3. Passing-gas-in-the-grocery-aisle-and-letting-someone-unaware-walk-right-through-it-is-just-plain-obnoxious.

4. For crying out loud, wipe down the exercise equipment. Not every other time, not every third time, EVERY time. I don't want to sit in your sweat any more than you want to sit in mine. Germs, cooties, whatever. Clean it up. And make sure someone SEES you cleaning it up.

5. Just because you're family doesn't mean you're "free to pass Go" and collect rights to saying just whatever rolls off your tongue. (Of course I have similar thoughts of you, I just don't say it aloud. It's called, "I'm not perfect myself so why do I think I can judge you?") Keep in mind that, as we age, our need for approval from family is less and less. That means you, my dear sister, or you, my dear aunt. You always maintain the right to your opinion. Just don't be surprised when someone tells you to take you and your choir elsewhere. Support and encouragement? Absolutely welcomed and appreciated. Unnecessary criticism, unwarranted judgment, and talking to me like I'm still 5 years old? Pretty much a waste of your time.

6. Do not ever put your feet up on my couch...especially when you're wearing shoes. Ever.

7. In the store aisle, why are you "lingering" around the same items someone else is already studying? You know you aren't really looking for that same thing - you're just being nosy! Just stand back so they can finish. Seriously. If you have time to linger around, you have time to wait.

8. Belching, burping, whatever you want to call it. Look, I know it has to come out somehow. Why anyone would think it should come out at the dinner table, or in a room where people are still eating, is beyond me. Just because you finished your meal first doesn't mean that the rest of us should be victim to your grossness. You're HOW old? Grow it on up.

9. Kids. They are kids. They will BE kids. They will ACT like kids. They will NOT act like grown ups because they are NOT grown ups. In fact, even some of the grown ups they are around don't act like grown ups. So, if you're the one who is ridiculously impatient with children and with what goes along with the behavior and misbehavior of them, it would probably do you well to either a) get over it, or b) get over it. Before you know it, you'll be the one they are complaining about with all your temper tantrums over how the kids are acting.

10. Speaking of acting like a child, when you make fun of people, it's SO unattractive in about a thousand ways. I won't list them all, but just know that being the "smart ass" is completely overrated. And when you laugh at the jerk who is making fun of someone , you look like a wannabe. And wow, that's really something to strive for, isn't it? (And I'm not talking about the light-hearted, friendly jokes. I'm talking about making fun of someone's medical problems, or speech impediment, or any other thing they have no control over.) I know you probably think it's cool or funny, but you're not even close to being either. Oh yeah, and when you're like 25 or 28 or 30 or 35 (or 50!) and you're still doing it, well, it's time to go back to the shelf and find a new kid's game.

11. Resist the urge to blow smoke in my face or in the face of my child. Yes, you have rights. Yes, I have rights. We're not going down that road. Oh yeah, and the fact that you are family does not give you MORE of a right. It gives you less - you should care more about the health of your family than anyone else! Don't even give me that song and dance. Please just show respect. But for the sake of clarification: My child's right to breathe clean air trumps your right any day of the week.

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31